Today I made the decision that I would photograph what 55 kilos looks like with 55 1kg tubs of margarine. I thought would make a great photo to show how much weight I had lost.
I did not think too much of driving to Coles to purchase this much margarine, maybe I just didn't realise the amount of margarine I would need or what it would look like.
I knew I had to purchase 55 tubs so I made the decision to be at Coles at 7am when they opened their doors, hoping not too many people would be around.
I was right only a couple of people in store, and a few staff members.
I got my trolley and headed to the dairy department where I would locate the plain label Coles 1 kg tubs of margarines.
I asked the staff if they had boxes of it out the back as it would have been easier to transport. No they didn't.
I started to load the margarine into the trolley and after 10 I counted and thought WOW I have a bit to go.
Every tub I put in I started to feel uneasy and I looked at each tub as a 1kg of fat... It was like I was collecting all my fat back, but I knew that was not the case. The tubs are heavy even at 1kg and I looked at the whole 55 tubs in the trolley and thought I cannot believe I was carrying all this weight around.
I felt embarrassed walking through the store with this much margarine and yes I received looks from people. The lady at the register of course asked me "What is with all the margarine" So I told her this is how much fat I have lost and I wanted to show people exactly what that looks like" She looked at me in disbelief. Then I had an older gentleman say to me "You have not lost that much, that is way too much" I know sad isn't it but yes I am afraid to tell you I have.... "You must have been huge"....
So after loading 55 kilos into a trolley and it took the whole trolley as you can see, I then had to unload all the margarine from this into my car.
This is when it really started to hit me what weight I had been carrying around. I was struggling holding 8 kilos of the tubs and found them very heavy, imagine what 55 kilos would have felt like to my poor body. No wonder I was always tired and never felt like doing anything.
When I got home the whole process of unpacking the car started and it was hard going unloading 55 kilos into the house. Every kilo I brought in I thought about what it had done to me in my past and how proud I was that this was just a transfer for the photo shoot.
I would suggest to everyone when you lose a significant amount of weight to hold it in the form of something. For me I wanted to symbolise margarine as that is the closest thing to FAT and it makes me feel sick seeing this.
I know as hard as it was emotionally to do what I did today, it was something I needed to do. Having carried every single one of them I know I will never ever put that weight back on.....there is no way I possibly could.
I am a little proud rider today with a few more kilos to go but this is a massive achievement for me and I hope I inspire other people to get off the roller coaster of dieting and start living!