I read an article about an "upper limit problem" in Gay Hendrick's book, The Big Leap. Each has an internal thermometer for how much success, wealth, happiness, love, and intimacy we'll let ourselves experience. That's our ‘upper limit’ setting.
I started thinking about this and how it has affected my life with my weight.
I know I had sabotaged myself many times, I definitely had an ‘upper limit’ problem and probably still do today. It was easier to stay in my 'comfort zone' or a place where I felt I had complete control than really coming face to face with my reality.
I used to say 97 kilos was my block or my ‘upper limit’, but as soon as I got to this weight I seem to stop, get injured or get sick. Something would put me off the track at this number.
It was like I could not go past this number, I was happy on this side of the scales.
I had got under 100 kilos but couldn't go any further.
What was it that blocked me?
What was I scared of if I lost weight?
Everything I had built around me would change I would change physically and mentally.
Was I ready for this?
Was I ready to give up everything I knew to gain the most amazing life?
Was I ready to welcome happiness into my life completely? Had I punished myself long enough for being a complete failure at how my life had turned out?
What could I blame if I wasn't overweight?
So many reasons why I had a block... It was easy to stay overweight and I had built up my walls as a protection. I coped with everything; I dealt with emotional moments all related to my relationship with food and the weight I was.
I knew I did not have to face the real world if I was overweight, no-one would really love the 'real' me as I was too fat to have all the happiness I knew I didn't deserve. There would always be a payoff for me being overweight. The guys I dated, the jobs I did and even my relationship with my friends. I hid from it all and I would use humour to cope with this and allow myself to never get past my ‘upper limit’.
But....... that all changed.
How did I get past that block?
First thing is to be aware of what your blocks are. Once I knew what was going to block me I became aware and worked through this.
As 97 kilos was my most obvious block, I put the scales away and would not get on them for 3 months. When I did get back on them and I weighed 91 kilos I knew that block was conquered. It was one of the greatest days of my life as I had lived the last 20 years trying to work around 97 kilos and I finally smashed it.
The second block or ‘upper limit’ problem I had was allowing the good things to come into my life. The praise, the compliments, the way people treated me differently as I was not 130 kilos anymore. I knew I wasn't invisible and I don't mean that in a physical sense as you could not miss me, I mean I knew to succeed I could not hide away or disappear into the crowd. I wanted the world to see and hear me, and that meant standing out the front and saying to the world, 'Look at me, I am here and nothing will stop me'.
I wanted to make sure if anyone has ever felt like I have, then I wanted to be there for them every step of the way and make sure their UPPER LIMIT PROBLEM would never ever stop them and we would smash this ride together.
I know now that every day I am faced with my ‘upper limit’ problem. I know it is important to be aware of it and to switch the negative talk to positive talk.
Can I do this?
Will this help?
What will people think?
Am I ready to take on the world?
Am I ready to meet someone to spend my life with?
So, now I give myself permission to say, "great job you did amazing and are doing amazing". I also give myself a time out, a chance to relax, a moment to reflect on what I have achieved. I know now that my ‘upper limit’ isn't a negative, it is a way to keep me in check to reflect on what I have achieved and what I am about to overcome. My upper limit is my new goal setting. What I fear the most is what I will now use as my driving force to be the best I can be.
So, starting today ask yourself, what is your block or ‘upper limit’ problem? What stops you from smashing that barrier? What has stopped you in the past?
Call me or a friend and have a chat... I’d love to hear your thoughts, so please leave a comment below.